Chef in the making...

What do i really want?

2012-01-08T01:47:00.003+08:00

Ever since i start working here at andre,

it kills my passion and dream, didn't know what i wanted now at all.

Wanted to take a break and hibernate, yes hibernate!

and think about what i really wanted, kitchen? Money? something different?

Rindu.

2011-12-09T03:14:00.002+08:00

I miss home , my parents and my brother and my little god sister.

Miss thailand!

Basically.

2011-12-02T01:42:00.001+08:00

Every single post i publish here is only meant for one person to read.

You know who you are.

End.

2011-11-28T02:26:00.001+08:00

So tired of work, sick and tired of this place actually.

Wanted to quit, but it's not just all, i want to quit culinary line for while.

I want to travel a bit to clear my mind.

My life needed bit of excitement instead of 14/15 hours work a day, 6 days a week.

If i leave this place, i really have no idea where to work next. But i know where to go for vacation next though. haha.

Alone.

2011-11-07T21:55:00.004+08:00

I prefer to be alone or with my another half than being with my family sometimes.

At the end of the day, money is more important than my dreams.

Hearing and knowing about the things going on my family really gives me a headache.

I needed more money now, thought about quitting for another job in the same line or different line that offers me more money.

I'm sad or should i say i don't even want to bother anymore.

I want to find a way out really :(

I really see no passion or the feeling that keeps me going anymore ever since i work here at andre. Life is different now.

Sick.

2011-10-27T14:23:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was PH and today i MC.Damn.

Stomach cramp on wednesday mid night and after when i wake up, i went to the toilet at least 5 times the whole day and today when i woke up, i thought i was able to go to work since it just a little cramps but after i came out from the toilet, i had to call it a rest day.

Dehydrated , don't feel like moving at all.

Still alive.

2011-10-20T01:37:00.003+08:00

Still alive after 13 days straight of work 15 hours a day, 4 hours sleep everyday.

What a hell of a month!

Anyway, check this out.

Pourcel brother

They came to our restaurant for promotion.

Good experience of life really!

Life at Andre

2011-09-07T16:15:00.002+08:00

Life is not that bad actually when you get used of the things and system and have the right mentality to face all kind of obstacles and shit.

The usual me like to complain about things to myself but work is fine.

Will see how things goes.

Chef Andre is not really that bad, probably his expectation is too high, that's why.

They're running top world restaurant, so...you know.

Blur me.

2011-08-28T11:56:00.002+08:00

I have no idea sometimes why i am so blur and couldn't really focus on what's going on and paying 100% attention.

Like lost for a while , tired of thinking?

Need to.

2011-08-25T01:06:00.001+08:00

I need to push myself to the level i wanted and probably the expectation from chef from me and etc.

Been tired.Wanted to have a full dedication on work but it seems that i couldn't . Probably it's my second day.

Gonna do everything nice and at top speed where not fast and shit.

Excited, i think i found home.

2011-08-22T22:32:00.001+08:00

Starting new job tomorrow at Andre's

http://restaurantandre.com/

Check it out guys.

Second Ink

2011-08-22T12:54:00.002+08:00

15th of August 2011 i went to do my second ink and i head back to my new work place tender my resignation letter ! haha.

My third epic one coming soon.

Cheeers guys, Till then.

How long will this lucky me gonna last?

2011-08-15T00:43:00.002+08:00

I been lucky all these while.

But a dear friend of mine named yin, never believe in luck.

Went to Waku Ghin for interview di other day, it was like so so, have a feeling that they won't hire me though and i went to Guy Savoy to visit the guys and all and somehow, some of the guys ask me to go back and oh well, went to talk to eric but he's not hiring at the moment , business is slow and he has enough of staff and back to Emmanuel stroobant's Sque to work.

At that very same day, i message Andre Chiang. Got a reply in the morning and went interview just now in the afternoon, talk a while and i got the job. That's exactly what i wanted and pushing myself to another level and all.Gonna need to prepare myself for the mentality to be in Andre's kitchen.So , gonna give a 24 hours notice to the chef and head back to KL for a while before i start working at Andre's.

Getting my second tattoo done tomorrow.

After the interview at Andre's,got the job, i went to watch Rise of the planet of monkeys and i spent 300 bucks on fashion =/

Being lucky or what? Everything is kind of smooth.For now...

Till then.

The place i should be.

2011-08-07T00:33:00.003+08:00

Oh well. Working under emmanuel stroobant's group , not really what i wanted though.

Probably heading back to marina bay sands and try out Waku Ghin.

Have a feeling that it might be what i wanted but 1 year or 2? Don't know yet.

Gonna wait for Daisuke san to come back from hong kong and will have him to ask his friend at WG.Hopefully they have vacancy and i can continue working next month.

Gonna get my tattoo touch up next week!

Inked.

2011-07-27T23:33:00.004+08:00

mise en place

juliankyla.com

redmoodboard.tumblr.com

Leaving.

2011-07-25T02:11:00.002+08:00

Once again, i'm leaving to singapore to work.

Sign contract and blood test,x ray and urine.

Today is my dad's birthday and somehow i missing him already.

I miss him the most but he never knows.

Anyway, i need income more than anything now!

Places.

2011-07-18T15:14:00.003+08:00

I want to go to Chicago the most,visit my friend Tim and stage at alinea if possible!

Visiting friends at thailand and perth.

Restaurant Andre would probably be the next place after my next job if i'm still in singapore.

Next country after singapore, melbourne it is.

Crossing the line or just the way it is now.

2011-07-15T01:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i feel lost and off track.

I like to cook traveling here and there,should i just stop here?Or

Should i cross the line to the wild ideas in mind since few years back since i have few potential investor in mind and i could probably be a historical man in your culinary history cooking book.

This could be the life i'll have till the day i die, keep on going, keep on pushing myself to the next level,working under pressure everyday?

Probably gonna go back to singapore for work by this month!

Till then!Cheers.

Next station. Singapore LAGI!

2011-07-09T19:30:00.002+08:00

Emmanuel Stroobant ;)

I got the job.Skype interview for about 10-15 minutes and i got it.

Basic for sure higher than the previous place but without OT and all.

After 3 months of probation, can nego with the basic salary again! Nice!

But still hoping to get into his restaurant Saint Pierre though than the new restaurant Sque(rotisserie and alehouse)

I know somehow i can get into his restaurant when there's a spot and then transfer!

Anyway, it still the learning process.

Hoping by any chance i can get chef's attention to send me overseas for training and all or may be an opportunity after 2 years of service with him getting a recommendation and job offer overseas.

Can't wait to work , wearing my crocs, chef uniform and my tool kits :D

Now i can make the things i wanted to reality this year!

Tattoo on its way,culinary purposes to keep me going and sky diving on my this year birthday!

Oliver people brox and fashion!

Gotten back to my original body shape which those boney not suppose to be seen that obvious.

Gonna do pumping and sit up every morning when i wake up!When i'm in singapore, not now :P

It still there..

2011-07-09T01:02:00.003+08:00

Having a skype interview later at 2.30pm.

Have no clue what kind of restaurant and salary it will be.

Hopefully it's the one i wanted.

Don't know what happened.My kidney area hurts.. and not to mention my balls actually hurt.

That doesn't matter , what matters is that i still feel hurt deep inside.I miss her,the memories.

Guess this is how it gonna ends huh for everyone.

Wish to have a companion.

Need a job and a life not to say to keep me distracted.

Well.

2011-07-01T13:16:00.002+08:00

It was never easy to get a job overseas with a reasonable salary.

Got offered 1100Sgd and 200Sgd after the probation.

I asked my senior and all, they were like? What?

Damn, he sure knows how to "tekan" people.

I still considering about this but i rejected the offer in dubai Verre by gordon ramsay.

I had a bad mood yesterday , emotions not stable at all.

That what happens having this personality of mine.

For once, i try to put down all of this and hope to hear from Brandon Foo soon from his chef.

On the way back yesterday, I thought about it.

-Pay is a problem.

-Thing that i want to do is learn to cook and fillet things and not really into molecular yet.

I want to have a good basic of knowledge and cooking first.

So, hoping that he's hiring and being able to pay what i want.

And don't want to think much from there.

Just work and enjoy my life doing what i want, i give myself 1 or 2 years there.

A lot more to update AFTER if i get a job with the pay i hope i can get.

A list to go.

Till then.

Untill the day i die...

2011-06-26T15:42:00.010+08:00

I feeling quite happy for getting what i wanted.

Everything is coming closer to my dreams,traveling and culinary.

Always feels that something will happen at the age of 25.

I think i'll head back to see her one day.

What i wanted was singapore tippling club(Ryan Clift) , i can see my ticket out here.

A sudden Gordon ramsay verre from dubai makes me feel crapy.

Everything is good to go for Ramsay the head chef said if i'm ready.

The "name" is killin!

I want a red carpet on my resume, just nice.

For having this personality in me being extremely picky and full of expectation brings me up to another level where i can be famous and successful one day perhaps?

But this personality disappoint me along my culinary journey.

Sacrifices , things i have to let go to achieve my dream.

The culinary journey begins here.

Excited about it.

Being able to have everything i want and being able to do the things i wanted soon, the life i wanted(Almost).

Right one at the wrong time.

2011-06-18T18:25:00.001+08:00

Inner strength

2011-06-10T19:18:00.003+08:00

I know i gotta let go once and for all.

To be honest, i'm not really in a good shape.Accompany needed.

Gotta look for a way to get my inner flame keep going on, gotta get myself back on track cause i want to show the world and the promise i made that i can do it.

But it's not gonna be tonight.

:')

I'm a loner really. No friends anywhere.

Sigh...

2011-06-10T00:53:00.004+08:00

I don't feel like anything at all, asking myself again , is kitchen really my thing?If no, what i'm gonna do?

As i know, dream going overseas to work is not gonna happen anytime soon.

The longer i stay here , the lazier i get each day.

Tried to call a friend that says he have a job for me at bangkok and i called but the number isn't available or something.

Couldn't help myself and i called her, awkward talk.

She's still the same like last time ever since.

I'm right at the position i thought i would end up one day, exactly the same.

Am sad now...

我和她

2011-06-09T01:29:00.001+08:00

Been thinking about her a lot since pass couple days.

如果我回头，我知道我们可以在一起不过我得牺牲我的梦。

我们俩知道我们要走的路是不一样的，也去这样是最好的。

我可以等，都等了一年，现在我们都各走各的了但我的感觉如今都是一样的。

变？是有的，感觉成熟了不像以前的我。

以前的我，是多么的小孩和单纯但我想照顾她一倍子的想法和感觉我是认真的。

我希望她幸福快乐不在伤心了。。。

For the first time...

2011-06-07T20:32:00.004+08:00

I went out with my brother yu jiun today

went to pavilion, eat and kampachi and watched X-men first class.Haha

Tiring walking from Klcc to pavilion and around city.

I know what i wanted,fine. Now i gotta make sure i make the right decision with my right mind towards my dream.

My so called "Penilik nasib" said that i'm a lonely person which i realize i'm a boring guy after all, no excitement,who would like a guy like me?It's pretty sad though oh well...

Regrets

2011-06-05T21:51:00.007+08:00

A lot of em. Even till now when i reminisce about it.

It was my first relationship and i don't know much about these thing.All this while , i didn't know what is " love myself" at all but now i do.I admit a zero self control of myself and my emotions and definitely a big zero for myself .

I learnt a lot from her and i guess most people learnt from their mistakes and in each relationship to be mature in this kind of thing where i've lost someone that i love very much , really very much :(

Which i think that sux cause you lost someone precious to you in order to be mature and grow up along the joruney.Learnt and realize a lot along the way this couple of months.

This when i realize about karma that it actually exists after what i've done.Can't brag about it since i've done and did the damage, just gonna live with the mistakes i done and move on with my life.Nothing i can do now , not even friends ,Appreciate while you still can ..it's really true.

How stupid and immature i was last time done something like that.

I feel very bad about all those event :(

Not proud of it and to prevent them from happening again, i won't do the same again to protect my love ones from now.

I'm so sorry jing jing :(

Thinking of her most of the time really.

The feeling somehow matured than last time for sure but things never meant to be although my heart is still right here waiting.

Hope she's happier without me at least i know she's happier now.

She doesn't want me anymore due to my immature behavior , certain couple things that hard to go along with and long distances.

I will always be there for her if she still needs me.

Really misses her very much .Can't forget the last departure in my head, she waving happily at me :'( that moment before my passport got stamped. I wanted to just walk out and hug her and stay.

Till then.

Being realistic in reality.

2011-06-04T02:16:00.003+08:00

Guys.

-Love at first sight,his kind of girl

-Her body

-Lv,prada or Gucci?

-Heart where the feeling comes

-Her job

-Her family status

-etc.

Ladies

-Love at first sight,her kind of guy.

-His body

-His job

-His money

-His ride

-His place

-Heart

-His family status

-No money no honey

-etc.

That's some of the example for the people these days. Typical bimbo asians.

Well, i have a license but i don't drive but i know i gotta drive one day and that's gonna be the reason why i don't dare to go for a local girl here, not a fancy ride and place i have .

Definitely a nicer ride and place in the future so better that time than now ,if you get what i mean, making myself feeling bad about it.

Now,

Just hope i make the right moves being picky choosing my next job where it makes all the differents, somehow i wish to go back to singapore, have some friends there , more and more :)

and the shopping!

Kind of working on my body these days not hardcore yet but i eat a lot like a looot.Next income , gonna go for the weight gainer and hardcore.

I have a list of things i want to buy .

One of the things i wanted badly now is Oliver peoples optical glasses "bronx" around 300USD

Gonna get it if next job is comfirmed.

A hair cut that i want and i hope it will look good on me and my bronx haha.

and of course the vintage yu khim , gonna show it all out after my next income and of course hopefully my nex5.

Chef is sexy cause they sweat and cook in kitchen, what about chef with nice body with some tats on the body sweat and cook in the kitchen sounds like?Vintage style after work. That's sound like me after my next job. haha

Pretty much for now, till then.

Plain

2011-06-01T00:47:00.002+08:00

Wisdom tooth growing its way out on my bottom left gum which i think it's the reason why my jaws been hurting more and more and headache since couple months back.

Secondly, i feel lost somehow. It was never easy looking a job overseas even australia.

Guess i'll probably head back to singapore for a job. They have like few top restaurant in the world and even celebrities restaurant but i am not interested , guess i wanted a new life somewhere i never been. Feeling down, starting to ask myself what i really wanted.

After leaving Guy Savoy, i knew i might be lucky getting a higher pay job somewhere but most probably getting around the same or lesser at else where cause MBS spoilt the market price already.

Anyway, feeling depressing me,not having a job nor option in hand and missing her.Thought i really over of her but no, it's not easy to let go a relationship especially so much memories left behind and night like this when i'm feeling lost and sad. So... what now yu khim? Really wanted a vacation for my heart , wish things was different somehow.

I know what i wanted, my dream but knowing that getting a job at the places i want overseas is nearly ZERO ever since i know how this business runs.So..what is the plan now yukhim.If my family income is better, there might be a chance or slight hope but now i'm all alone with my blog. This just came across my mind , blogging is one of the way expressing myself without making someone else feeling crapy about my shit and all.

用心良苦

2011-05-27T19:18:00.003+08:00

I did it since february, it gonna hurt her a lot but it's for the best.

I know she hate the way i am and i kept doing it till the point she fed up of me,bored of me.Better that way so she won't look back and move on from this not meant to be relationship.Easier for the both of us this way i guess, so that there is no chance in getting back at all.

I'm not like that. but i have to.

:(

2011-05-08T17:04:00.004+08:00

It was never easy to go overseas to start a career.At the moment, i'm jobless sending my Cv here and there and got rejected as expected.Felt like giving up on myself lately, my dreams , have no sense of direction.

Small little things sometimes makes me think of her, still misses her a lot though :( She be like that,probably she didn't want to get hurt again. Everybody been through the same huh, learn from mistakes through sacrifices losing the love ones.

Headache for a while now, i scared it turns out to be something else. It's not good having headaches like that everyday.