Finally

Finally found a place called "home" at work and a nice place to chill around the corner of work.
Love my job , money , girls and everything here ! I am happy now!

Back on track

I was blinded by loneliness since May.
Shit from work and all, my health, financial, everything is coming to an ending with a new beginning!
I miss this feeling so much, the confident and awesome me is back!
Why so?
Cause
i got the job i wanted since May and it's a new start of life now ! Pickiness is back and hope this feeling will stays the same and always.

Journey to thailand to look for myself

At hatyai , first time that dreamt about her ad it was really a heart breaking one.
Met her somewhere on the bus and the only thing she said to me was
"Yu khim , I am back with him now , my ex and I was still with him when I was with you ". Even it just a dream , I felt like shit in ma dream!!! Hahaha, damn. Karma karma!! Wanted to ask her something but I woke up already ! Hmmm

Anyway , this trip to thailand really reminds me a lot of things , imagine if I'm at bangkok! And I've found the another part of myself about love here, reminded me of something and hope I can remember this that I was meant to be single for a reason , haha . But if I found what I wanted , why not right.

Glad I came home and all before I start my new life!! Really excited!
One step at a time and the feeling of doing it , is just amazing.
Found myself in work and love but something is still missing ... A partner perhaps? Yea , i think that's what missing for now .
Bibimpap!!!

I was happier before and i am happy now.

At some point, haha, i really miss her a lot this two days.
I miss us.
Can't wait to get rid my wisdom tooth and continue my awesome life soon!!
Hopefully by then, good things will happen to me and a new home!!!

Everything happens for a reason

Job that i was supposed to get didn't goes as planned ended up with extra memories, which is good for me . It made me realize a lot of things in life, work and relationship.

2 jobs and her. Really realize a lot, the way i should be, professionalism at work , the way you should react even though how much you hated it. I thought i was ready for a relationship, i looked back what happened since May and August. I am not ready, now i know what was in their mind but it's never too late to realize and be the person i wanted to be now! Actions speaks louder than words and i am finally doing it now thx to these people that talked to me and inspired me in life.
She is one smart person, i am no where near to her. By looking the way i reacted back then , really reminded me when i lost my first but hey! after 2 days, i am totally fine cause a friend reminded me one thing, "i am not ugly" and mum said , " the ocean is full of seafoods" lol Yes. Just needed time to digest. Finally figured out everything, i know where she's coming from and all, "smart" and "professional" That's the way i am heading to now. I am not ready myself, unsecured jobs and income and life. After all this , i've finally figured out all of them.

I'll be ready soon , i knew it. After my bloody wisdom tooth and i am ready to commit myself to what i wanted and there is not extra time for relationship and that's probably what she had in mind as well. "Jump into a relationship when you are ready and happy to begin with"
Thank you very much wiing. I accepted the truth and from now on i will face the truth although how much i hated changes in life but that's part of life ,where i am ready now :))

Never felt so ready,I am happy now. I know what i wanted in life but never actually found the way to get there since but now, i am looking for the right way to get there, my first step now.
Hope i can make it and work towards to be the person i wanted to be for my future and another half.

A new start, new job , new home,  to work my ass off! Gonna get rid of my wisdom tooth soon after my gum is less swollen. Now i look like i got punched by a 90kg dude.
So tired, kept on sleeping and enjoy every single minute i can at home!

She

It hurts me all the time,
i still can't afford to let go what ever i'm holding on to.
My heart is feeling sad and lonely ,at some point asking myself why am i doing this to hurt myself this way.It's always just me that giving in to people who don't even bother what i'm doing.
Will i meet this special someone that i've been waiting for? The lady version of me...

I feel like disappearing ...
May be i was just too emotional , i know this kind of things might take time before yourself can settle down.

Faith

Sometimes i feel so sad about my family and all.
Probably i been away home cause i unconsciously avoiding them but i do love them really much.
Having my own life is one thing and trying to give my family a better life is another thing.
I wish we can live a better life.
Feel so frustrated at times cause of my family.
The older my dad is , the more paranoid and petit he becomes which makes people tend to stay away from him. I rarely talk to my dad but i do love him.
My brother's birthday tomorrow , i can't even afford to bring him to the places he wants to eat at but a replacement soon!
This is the life for the yong's family till the end? Can i make a difference for my family?
I literally speechlessand doesn't know what to say but compare to the others, we are much more better .
I really don't know what to do anymore. Just wanting to get the job and that's it for now.